When intense emotions flood our systems, there is a tendency to tense up. Often we go into a fight mode to try and protect ourselves or our interests. We push away what we perceive as threatening. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed and we shut down. We analyze. We judge. We label. We make the other person wrong. We make ourselves wrong. We try to re-establish our footing any way we can. Often, though, the best thing we can do in the moment is to slow down, take a breath and become present.

Since it’s natural and habitual to attribute the cause of our emotions to someone or something outside of ourselves (as in “you are making me feel….”), it becomes a transformative act to pause and remind ourselves that while our minds are trying to protect us, there may not be any immediate danger. There may, in fact, be an old memory being triggered, and we may be stuck within a script we created long ago.  We lose our ability to be in the present moment, and instead project a story, usually based in fear, onto what is happening. Remembering to pause and bring presence to ourselves is a radical act, one that will change our perception, and our lives. It’s simple, but it’s anything but easy.  

How do you want to respond when your child is acting in a way you don’t like?  What stories show up in your mind when your partner complains to you about something you did or didn’t do?  Do you want to continue responding in the way your conditioned (and often defended) mind believes will be helpful? Or do you want to bring conscious choice and presence to the moment? 

Until we are able to witness our minds, our projections, and our relational defenses, our habitual reactivity and practiced thought patterns will most likely stay hidden from us. When in the midst of a fearful or angry response; when we are unconsciously projecting an old script from the past onto the present, it is impossible to see that we are getting in the way of what we are working so hard to have happen.

There are many ways to respond to every situation. The one that interests me the most is the one where we pause and turn our attention toward ourselves first. 

Most of us (myself included) need support to be able to metabolize the experiences and emotions that have gotten stuck in our bodies.  We need support to transform our reactive patterns and to grow our capacity for bringing in-the-moment awake aware presence to ourselves and others.  This is not hardwired into our systems.  And it’s not something we learned in school or from our society. Likely, we have received messaging that our emotions are problematic or that they are something to be fixed or suppressed or that they get in the way of living a successful life.  Yet, the truth is – our emotions are an integral part of our humanness. It is when we create spaces to become more conscious of our inner life, and our inner light, when we begin to relax rather than constrict; when we cultivate trust in the wisdom of our bodies, we become more capable of creating better approaches to our social, relational, and even ecological challenges. And, with the right tools, the right kind of support, and a willingness to pause and attend to our inner world, we can begin to loosen the knots that are keeping us stuck, individually and collectively.  We can reclaim and begin to grow our true human collective potential. 

Are you in a painful dynamic with a family member?

Do you find yourself reacting to your child’s behavior in ways you later regret?

Are you in a stuck place? 

Are you working to create a life in alignment with your values?

Would you like support and accompaniment in working with your habitual reactivity and your emotions?

Would you like to open up some inner space for the revealing of your own deep wisdom and clarity?

There is no time like the present! Send me a message through the button below to set up a conversation.  

I look forward to connecting with you.